Lovebirds are social, affectionate parrots that form strong bonds with their owners. Determining if your lovebird is truly bonded with you versus just trained to step on your hand takes time and observation. There are several clear signs that indicate a lovebird has bonded closely with you.
Consistently seeks your attention
A lovebird that is bonded to you will constantly seek out your attention and company. This is one of the most obvious signs that your lovebird considers you a flock member. A bonded lovebird will call and chirp when he sees you or hears your voice, begging you to come interact with him. He’ll likely fly to you or climb all over his cage when you are near, hoping you will open the door and give him some affection. Lovebirds form monogamous pair bonds in the wild, so a lovebird that has chosen you as his “mate” will be very eager to spend time together.
Engages in mutual preening
Mutual preening of feathers is a social activity that strengthens bonds between flock members. If your lovebird nibbles gently at your hair, eyelashes, or ears and enjoys having you preen his head in return, he has deemed you a part of his flock. Preening releases endorphins in parrots and satisfies their instinctive need for affection and belonging. Allow your lovebird to preen your hair or even eyebrows, as long as he does not bite hard enough to hurt. Return the favor by carefully scratching and massaging his head, neck and cheeks with your fingertip.
Displays nesting behavior
Lovebirds are cavity nesters, and a bonded lovebird will display nesting behaviors with you as he would with a mate. He may try to stuff food or random items into your hair, pockets or any other small spaces. He may also collect items he finds valuable and stash them in his cage or a favored hiding spot. A bonded lovebird may also become protective and territorial, defending you or areas that smell like you from other pets or family members.
Exhibits separation anxiety
If your lovebird bonded strongly with you, he will not react well anytime you leave the house or his sight. Extreme vocalizations when you leave the room, frantic biting and tearing at cage bars, loss of appetite, and listless, puffed-up appearance indicate severe separation anxiety and a high level of attachment to you. To prevent his distress during necessary absences, train your lovebird to be comfortable alone using positive reinforcement and distraction with toys or treats. Also make sure he has a secure, stimulating environment and daily social interaction with household members in addition to yourself.
Chooses you over other humans
A lovebird with a bonded human companion will show a clear preference and response toward that person versus others. Your lovebird may act cute, silly, playful or snuggly when you interact with him but remain aloof, shy or even aggressive with strangers or other members of your household. Lovebirds do occasionally bond closely with more than one person, but display more enthusiasm toward a primary mate. A lovebird that flies to you, rides on your shoulder, and seeks attention only from you has chosen you as the focus of his pair bond.
Solicits physical affection
Cuddling is one way parrots bond with each other, so a lovebird that has his head, cheeks or neck scratched by you without biting or moving away enjoys that contact. A bonded lovebird will also rub his face and body against your hand, arm or chest as you hold him. Physical affection between parrot mates involves bill stroking and rubbing in addition to preening. If your lovebird rubs his beak gently over your skin, nibbles at your lips or kisses your face, he sees you as his companion. However, refrain from petting your lovebird anywhere besides his head and neck, as petting near the tail is sexually stimulating.
Shows off to get your attention
Lovebirds are naturally acrobatic and energetic little parrots. Yours may put on an elaborate display of stunts like hanging upside-down, swinging on a rope toy, or fluttering across the room just to capture your notice and praise. Performing cute tricks he knows you enjoy and presenting you with items from his toy collection also serve as attention-seeking tactics. An outgoing, extroverted lovebird craves interaction and thrives on being the center of your attention, which strengthens your mutual bond.
Exhibits jealous behavior
Since lovebirds form monogamous pair bonds, a bonded lovebird may show aggression or jealous behavior when you pay attention to other pets or people. Biting, hissing, chasing, and even screaming temper tantrums can result if your jealous lovebird feels he is being neglected in favor of a rival. To curb problematic jealous behavior, make sure to devote one-on-one time with your lovebird daily, interact with him before other pets, and avoid giving too much focus to other people or animals in his presence.
Spends time close to you
A lovebird that chooses to perch on your hand, arm, shoulder or knee over any other spot clearly enjoys being close to you. If allowed out-of-cage time, a bonded lovebird will stick by your side rather than explore other areas of the home. Your lovebird may even try to climb inside your shirt or snuggle under your hair because he finds comfort and security in your nearness. Lovebirds that have not bonded will be more independent and prefer playing alone. Frequent proximity-seeking behavior is a sure sign that your lovebird sees you as an integral part of his social circle.
| Signs of Bonding | Example Behaviors |
|---|---|
| Seeks your attention | Chirping when you enter the room, flying to you, clawing cage bars |
| Engages in mutual preening | Gently nibbles your hair or skin, allows you to scratch his head |
| Exhibits nesting behavior | Stashing food in your hair or pockets, collecting favored items |
| Displays separation anxiety | Shrieking when you leave, not eating, lethargy |
| Chooses you over others | Seeking attention only from you, avoiding other people |
| Solicits physical affection | Rubbing against you, allowing stroking, kissing your face |
| Shows off to get your attention | Displaying tricks and stunts, presenting toys to you |
| Exhibits jealous behavior | Hissing, biting, screaming when you interact with others |
| Spends time close to you | Perching on you versus elsewhere, flying to your side |
Conclusion
Recognizing the signs that indicate your lovebird sees you as his mate and flock companion requires paying close attention to his behavior during daily interactions. Lovebirds naturally form extremely devoted bonds, so consistent demonstrations of affection, proximity-seeking, attention-grabbing antics, separation anxiety and jealousy toward others are clear evidence that your lovebird’s social focus is you. Nurturing that bond by spending quality time together and engaging in mutual preening and physical affection will strengthen your lifelong relationship with your feathered friend.
